How To Get Unstuck With A Life Coach


There is nothing more frustrating in life then when you feel stuck and are unable to move forward. Finding clarity and figuring out what needs to be done is vital if you want to be able to achieve success. One of the great advantages to online coaching is that our clients can get a hold of us quickly and we can help them through their situation no matter where they are in the world. We recently took a survey and asked some of our coaching clients their thoughts on feeling stuck and here is what they said:

It's an interesting approach on anxiety issues. It's seems to me that our desire for magic bullet for each and every problem may be exactly the reason why we have those problems. Is your car broken? Get this mechanic to fix it. Have an anxiety? Here, take those pills. It doesn't work this way with our brains and psychology. Maybe it's time to stop trying to quick fix everything and just sit down to think and understand what is going on? But no. Everyone want to have a magic bullet and no one wants to make hard emotional labour to heal oneself

I'd say the overall message here is that for you to understand your emotions in a useful way - like if you often feel upset but you're not sure why - consider what the causes are but think broadly. When I have problems like this, I like to keep a daily diary where I note down 1. everything that happened in the day ; 2. everything I did (i.e. my reactions) and 3. how I felt that day.

This way I can get a good overall picture of events and their relationship to my feelings. I did this before and discovered that a reason why I felt depressed was because of the food I was eating - I was eating terribly - I guess that's a similar example to the pot of coffee one in this video. That guy was not aware that the coffee made him feel anxious, but if he made himself more aware of the things that happened and things he did in the day, it would have more likely occurred to him.

This talk could've been much shorter though I think. I agree with people who say it's a bad talk. It's pretty disorganized and lacking focus but the message it gives is a good  one and important to remember

We are cut off from our bodies - from our subconscious. I mean, we can't even tell how much food is in our stomachs, and yet feel hungry on a full stomach. Perhaps in gaining self consciousness we've lost our understanding of the body's language, to keep it healthy.

So basically, in this long talk he said that the way to get unstuck and the key to getting unstuck is mindfulness. Be here now, pay attention to what all your senses are telling you. Mindfulness meditation.

I guess these days it is sacrilege to say this, but part of the tendency toward negativity has to do with the sum total of one's life experiences, and especially early childhood. Those who experience trauma or emotional neglect in early life tend to view the world as threatening and life to be without value.  And those with little social support or who feel cultural alienation are more likely to have a negative view of life.  We are not all having the same experience. I agree that optimism can be learned but some have a much tougher road than others.

Maybe we are wired to seek out and focus on the negative as a defensive survival mechanism, taking note of things that cause pain or discomfort, and we dwell on those things so that we might find ways to avoid similar problems in the future. Happy positive events are nice, but they may not teach us lessons critical in the short run for survival.

45 years later and I am barely starting to have the desire to find out exactly who I am. I feel like I am ready to understand me completely because like many of us, I have been stuck. Yes I have grown in different ways but I only allow myself to move so far and then I get in the way. Iyanla has touched me for many years but i never really knew how connected I was to Spiritual and self healing. This can often be very deep because it causes us to go very deep within which most of us run from. But to go deep within with pure honesty is what is needed to grow and move forward. This is what i am practicing today. The life vision is what i will be working on next, because I haven' fully figured that out. I love you and thank you for all you do, for your openness into your life, your genuineness about your struggles and for touching many us from all over the world.

It's called 'learned helplessness ' , a deep rooted psychological state almost impossible to get rid of, which is developed and established in the brain from YEARS of trying and failing, trying and failing, trying...you get the point. I HATE self-pity, which is what most suffer from, but this idea you can just pull confidence out of you ass and 'get up and just do it' is the most ridiculous thing I've heard.  Learned helplessness erodes to NOTHING your self confidence,  your belief In your self, even your instinct or inclination to TRY, because you KNOW you will just...fail, again

I've really been struggling lately with this conflict between who I've been up until now, and the person I have to be to move forward. I've always been very self-aware, honest with myself, and willing to adapt and grow, but the one aspect I haven't done that is learning to let go of being right so I can be happy and successful. The last 18 months I've allowed my (self)righteous anger at corrupt & incompetent power structures consume my energy & attention, and my attempts to force change have been futile.

I recently realized I need to learn to let go of my expectations, rise above and focus on getting where I need to go. My impatience and desire to change things before I'm in a position to do so has sabotaged my progress, but learning to turn the other cheek is possibly the most difficult personal change I've ever tried to make. This video spoke directly to me and really hit home. Words can't express what a massive positive influence you've been in my life Tom, and I can't thank you enough for everything you do.

I know I’ll make it to every place and every dream I have. I know this because I believe it. I leave no option for failure. I know that “failure” isn’t bad like I let myself believe at one time. It is my friend. It is my teacher. I can’t grow, if I don’t know where to look for improvement, and that’s when events come together selflessly, to show me more. Show me my triggers, doubts, deep rooted beliefs I hadn’t even realized were there without life grabbing my attention and saying “look!

This is where you can take a step. It may be painful to see and take great strength to face but you’re NOT alone. And after you take that first step....the next one will be easier, and so on.” I’m not here to live a relaxed, unchallenging life of pure leisure. I want growth, and I’ll face whatever I must to find the opportunity within it, to grow. So keep inspiring, you make a huge difference for people everywhere.

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