How To Get Unstuck With A Life Coach
There is nothing more frustrating in
life then when you feel stuck and are unable to move forward. Finding clarity and
figuring out what needs to be done is vital if you want to be able to achieve success. One of the great advantages to online coaching is that our clients can get a hold of us quickly and we
can help them through their situation no matter where they are in the world. We
recently took a survey and asked some of our coaching clients their thoughts on
feeling stuck and here is what they said:
It's an
interesting approach on anxiety issues. It's seems to me
that our desire for magic bullet for each and every problem may be exactly the
reason why we have those problems. Is your car broken? Get this mechanic to fix
it. Have an anxiety? Here, take those pills. It doesn't work this way with our
brains and psychology. Maybe it's time to stop
trying to quick fix everything and just sit down to think and understand what
is going on? But no. Everyone want to have a magic bullet and no one wants to
make hard emotional labour to heal oneself
I'd say
the overall message here is that for you to understand your emotions in a
useful way - like if you often feel upset but you're not sure why - consider
what the causes are but think broadly. When I have problems like this, I like
to keep a daily diary where I note down 1. everything that happened in the day
; 2. everything I did (i.e. my reactions) and 3. how I felt that day.
This
way I can get a good overall picture of events and their relationship to my
feelings. I did this before and discovered that a reason why I felt depressed
was because of the food I was eating - I was eating terribly - I guess that's a
similar example to the pot of coffee one in this video. That guy was not aware
that the coffee made him feel anxious, but if he made himself more aware of the
things that happened and things he did in the day, it would have more likely
occurred to him.
This
talk could've been much shorter though I think. I agree with people who say
it's a bad talk. It's pretty disorganized and lacking focus but the message it
gives is a good one and important to
remember
We are
cut off from our bodies - from our subconscious. I mean, we can't even tell how
much food is in our stomachs, and yet feel hungry on a full stomach. Perhaps in
gaining self consciousness we've lost our understanding of the body's language,
to keep it healthy.
So
basically, in this long talk he said that the way to get unstuck and the key to
getting unstuck is mindfulness. Be here now, pay attention to what all your
senses are telling you. Mindfulness meditation.
I guess
these days it is sacrilege to say this, but part of the tendency toward
negativity has to do with the sum total of one's life experiences, and
especially early childhood. Those who experience trauma or emotional neglect in
early life tend to view the world as threatening and life to be without value. And
those with little social support or who feel cultural alienation are more
likely to have a negative view of life. We are not all having the same
experience. I agree that optimism can be learned but some have a much tougher
road than others.
Maybe
we are wired to seek out and focus on the negative as a defensive survival
mechanism, taking note of things that cause pain or discomfort, and we dwell on
those things so that we might find ways to avoid similar problems in the
future. Happy positive events are nice, but they may not teach us lessons
critical in the short run for survival.
45
years later and I am barely starting to have the desire to find out exactly who
I am. I feel like I am ready to understand me completely because like many of
us, I have been stuck. Yes I have grown in different ways but I only allow
myself to move so far and then I get in the way. Iyanla has touched me for many
years but i never really knew how connected I was to Spiritual and self
healing. This can often be very deep because it causes us to go very deep
within which most of us run from. But to go deep within with pure honesty is
what is needed to grow and move forward. This is what i am practicing today.
The life vision is what i will be working on next, because I haven' fully
figured that out. I love you and thank you for all you do, for your openness
into your life, your genuineness about your struggles and for touching many us
from all over the world.
It's
called 'learned helplessness ' , a deep rooted psychological state almost
impossible to get rid of, which is developed and established in the brain from
YEARS of trying and failing, trying and failing, trying...you get the point. I
HATE self-pity, which is what most suffer from, but this idea you can just pull
confidence out of you ass and 'get up and just do it' is the most ridiculous
thing I've heard. Learned helplessness
erodes to NOTHING your self confidence,
your belief In your self, even your instinct or inclination to TRY,
because you KNOW you will just...fail, again
I've
really been struggling lately with this conflict between who I've been up until
now, and the person I have to be to move forward. I've always been very
self-aware, honest with myself, and willing to adapt and grow, but the one
aspect I haven't done that is learning to let go of being right so I can be
happy and successful. The last 18 months I've allowed my (self)righteous anger
at corrupt & incompetent power structures consume my energy & attention,
and my attempts to force change have been futile.
I
recently realized I need to learn to let go of my expectations, rise above and
focus on getting where I need to go. My impatience and desire to change things
before I'm in a position to do so has sabotaged my progress, but learning to
turn the other cheek is possibly the most difficult personal change I've ever
tried to make. This video spoke directly to me and really hit home. Words can't
express what a massive positive influence you've been in my life Tom, and I
can't thank you enough for everything you do.
I know
I’ll make it to every place and every dream I have. I know this because I
believe it. I leave no option for failure. I know that “failure” isn’t bad like
I let myself believe at one time. It is my friend. It is my teacher. I can’t
grow, if I don’t know where to look for improvement, and that’s when events
come together selflessly, to show me more. Show me my triggers, doubts, deep
rooted beliefs I hadn’t even realized were there without life grabbing my
attention and saying “look!
This is
where you can take a step. It may be painful to see and take great strength to
face but you’re NOT alone. And after you take that first step....the next one
will be easier, and so on.” I’m not here to live a relaxed, unchallenging life
of pure leisure. I want growth, and I’ll face whatever I must to find the
opportunity within it, to grow. So keep inspiring, you make a huge difference
for people everywhere.
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